Mary, Mary... Why You Buggin'?

Daddy's going to give a lecture to some of you little gay boys and girls that hang out at the Lip... and you know who you are...

Y'all have just got to chill out with all this damn backbiting, two-faced, lowdown, no-good, gossip-mongering that's going on when you all get together in here. Sometimes, as much as I love y'all, I want to just walk up to you, slap ya 'cross the face and say, "Zip it!"

I have this pal who comes in a lot. Let's call him/her "Mary." Mary is a nice person, generally. Human like all of us, but on average, a nice person. The other night, Mary comes in with a bunch of friends and everyone is smiling, chillin' out, having a good a time. Then, suddenly, I see Mary's face go all mischievous. I can't hear the conversation, but I can tell from the look that Mary is just dying to hurt somebody's feelings.

I was right, because Mary got up and flounced out onto the patio, alone. One by one, Mary's friends all go out to the patio as well, and soon, there's full-scale drama. Within an hour of the patio escapade, the entire crew has gone home, righteously pissed off.

I don't know who said what to whom, who started it, what it's about or why you felt you had to pick a perfectly enjoyable evening to ruin it with this crap. In short, as the musical question from Run-DMC asks, "Mary, Mary... why you buggin'?"

I just don't understand. Why would you want to stir up crap among your friends? Why intentionally create discord among people you claim are dear to you? Have you taken crazy pills? Or is your life so uninteresting that you feel a need to create emotional upheaval for other people to watch them squirm?

'Coz I gotta tell ya, Mary.... if that's the case.... that's some sick shit. Get your head examined.

Peace,

Tom