Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Ram It In: A Horoscope For Everyone

Okay... first let's start by saying that this whole Daylight Savings coming early is really screwing up my world. I mean, we now spend almost 8 months a year in Daylight Savings Time. Isn't that now the standard?

The sun rams into Aries (yeah, pun intended, bitches) as a new astrological year begins with Spring today, March 20th. As an old way ends and a new one begins, Aries brings us hope for the coming year. But with that, comes a hard-headedness that can be trying to put it mildly. Take a lesson from the Rams, and wear a helmet if you're going to insist on banging your head.

The "fresh start" approach is compounded by Pluto going retrograde on March 31st. It is likely that you will become aware of a number of dead-ends in your life, and, if you're not a dizzy bitch, you will plot new courses and rid yourself of influences that are not doing you any good. Like fawning over American Idol. We're kinda done. Come in for karaoke. Retrograde Pluto also brings about large-scale world events, like government upheaval. Or so we hope.

Jupiter goes retrograde on April 5th too, so all that expansive quest to find yourself could come to an end. Let us help:

  • 1. Put your left hand out. (No, this isn't the hokey-pokey.)
  • 2. Bend your elbow to put your left hand to your nose.

    Congratulations! You've found yourself. You were right there all along. Had you been a snake, you'd have bitten yourself. Hell, you might bite yourself anyway as far as we know, you're kinda kinky.

    Oh-- and for those of you planning a lot of shenanigans for April Fools' Day... ain't no fool like an old fool. So aim for Jonda.

    Best chance for romance: April 7th at Pizza Hut, any location-- but you'll need to wear a hair-net and sensible shoes, and maybe it's not worth all that.
    Lucky number: Seven, duh.
    Best spring cleaning method: Flamethrower.

    Have fun during Aries! See you at the LIp!


  • Monday, March 12, 2007

    Square One Karaoke Contest

    The Lipstick Lounge held its big March karaoke contest, thanks to sponsors Square One Condominiums this past Saturday, and it was an absolute blast. In case you missed it, we had some phenomenal talent in the house, with 24 contestants, all of whom were fantastic singers.

    Square One gave away $350 in prizes, and provided the judges, so it was all on the up-and-up. The winners were:

    FIRST PLACE, $200-- Heidi Burson
    Heidi is an unbelievable talent with range, style, presence and grace. Her voice is fluid and her style draws comparisons to Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and Aretha Franklin.

    SECOND PLACE, $100-- Kat Hunter
    Kat is a Lipstick favorite, having performed here on several occasions. She is a country rocker, and her powerful voice is right in line with Gretchen Wilson, Bonnie Raitt and Wynonna.

    THIRD PLACE, $50-- Izzy Weaver
    Izzy can give most female vocalists a run for their money any day of the week, with an amazing counter-tenor range and awesome power. He performs songs by Céline Dion, Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson, among others.

    Congratulations to our Karaoke Contest winners!

    Friday, February 23, 2007

    Something Fishy: A Horoscope For Everyone

    Yes, kids, the sun has moved into Pisces, the sign of the fish, and that means all things aquatic are in order. You should give up red meat and eat seafood only. You should start a water aerobics program. You should drink 8 glasses of water a day. You should bathe more frequently, because.... damn!

    No, really.

    So with all this watery action going on, it's highly likely you're an emotional mess. If you suddenly start crying, have no explanation for why, and your heart is tugged at with great ease, there is one simple answer: you're a woman. And your inner Pisces is showing its ass.

    Astrologically, Mars and Mercury come slamming into Aquarius on the 25th and 26th, so expect lots of those waterworks due to people saying mean things and pissing you off. Since Venus is careening through very hostile Aries as of the 21st, a lot of those tensions can come from the one you most love. One way to deal with those who anger you: a lit cigarette right to the eye. Remind me to stay on your good side.

    This is also a very volatile time due to the conjunction of Pluto with the Galactic Center. And Pluto is pissed because they've said it's too dinky to be a planet anymore. So there's nothing but drama there either. It is a time for asking great questions that affect generations as a whole, such as, "Why are old people so damn crotchety?" Or "What is it about women in their thirties and Tupperware?"

    Best shot at romance: March 9 in Ipswich, Massachusetts, behind the Clam Box. Get to thumbin'.
    Lucky number: Seven, duh.
    Best Actress: Penélope Cruz for Volver. But that's just my prediction.

    Enjoy the month, fishes! We'll see you at the Lip!

    Monday, February 19, 2007

    We're Changing Some Things For The Better

    If you like to drink, then Lipstick should be your new home:

    $4 Pink-Panty-Pulldowns!

    Sure, the other bars are serving them now, but they were invented at the Lip and ours are better and stronger than anyone else's. So come to the home of this great shot and pull your panties down!

    $5 Jäger Bombs (OH MY GOD) and Martinis

    It's poker night, and if you're a player, you can not only get some serious liquor cheap, Tom will reward you with extra poker chips for every one you order. So get your game on and come out for Martinis and Jäger Bombs for just five bucks.

    $3 Citrus Shooters

    What better way to reward our friends for packing the house than with a $3 shot? The citrus shooter, one of our favorites, is just three bucks tonight. Tom once drank 37 of them... ask him the story.

    Of course, we have karaoke at 9 PM all three nights, Music Trivia on Tuesdays at 7 PM, Movie Trivia on Thursday at 7 PM, and we play two rounds of poker at 7 and 10 PM, so there's plenty to do. Get your happy ass out to the Lip!

    See you soon! Much love!

    Tuesday, November 07, 2006

    Imagine This World

    I realize we've gotten really political lately. I promise, very soon, funny, mindless entertaining blogs will return.

    One of our friends recently posted this in a blog of her own:

    Im totally against abortion the word make's me cry and weep.It's so evil its like what if your parents didnt wanna have you.Its murder cause your killing a innocent human being.If you dont wanna have a baby and you have one anyways than use birth control or just dont spread your legs and have sex if you know what will happen.Even if the person was raped they should still have the baby no matter what.I was raped when I was 17 and if I had a baby by the guy I would still have it.You can always give it up for abotion no need to have a abortion.Im totally you abortion is a crime.Its evil and its like saying I hate my own child.I think people who have abortion's should go to jail and be on death row.

    This is our response:


    XXXXX, you have a right to your opinion. Let us say that first. We respect your opinion.

    But you are quite young still, and although abortion is a very painful subject, it is not as cut-and-dried as you would make it, and we think it's important to look at this from a wider perspective than that of just one 21-year-old woman.

    A large part of the reason you have this thought, and this strength in your opinion is that you do have a choice. You say that even if you got pregnant by a rapist, you would still have the baby. And as a rape victim, you have the right to say that-- because you have the choice.

    Now imagine a girl less balanced and stable. A girl whose rape was so horrible that she still four years later finds it impossible to be sexually intimate with anyone. A girl who still cries daily over her victimization. A girl who still has injuries and scars from the attack itself. And now imagine that same pained girl, having to look at, raise, be responsible for, and try-- try-- to love and care for a living, breathing reminder of all her pain?

    The system doesn't protect rape victims. You may have gotten lucky, and your attacker my have seen justice, but odds are, he probably didn't. Every rape is different. Every woman in different. And it is for that very reason that freedom of reproductive choice exists. Women of our generation-- your mother's generation-- fought for choice, and can remember that world where women did die in back-alley abortions. Like being raped all over again. The comments by your friend at the top of this page sadden us terribly. How anyone could say a woman-- a living breathing woman with a life in progress, and a whole world of people whose lives she impacts-- is less valuable than an embryo that's not even fully formed-- is beyond our comprehension. Your own statement about sending women who have abortions to death row shows, frankly, an immature, uninformed opinion that lacks a full understanding of the situation and preaches that "death is wrong" while actually condemning people to death because they don't agree with you. How is that right?

    Choice has always been a part of your life. You were born a decade and more after Roe vs. Wade. As a young woman of this generation, you take for granted this choice. You've always had it. And you may very well choose never to even consider an abortion. And that is your choice. But recognize that if you had no choice, you might very well feel different.

    Imagine a society where no choice exists. Hundreds of thousands more children growing up without parents in a state-run orphanage system because not enough adoptive parents exist to take care of them. Hundreds of thousands more will be neglected and abused by mothers that never really wanted them. Forced to grow up in an environment where they will be subject to inhumane conditions. Homeless women, drug addicts, eleven-year-olds, prostitutes, college students and women in abusive relationships now forced to add motherhood to their list of trials.

    And now, the children themselves. They will grow up without love, without proper guidance, and without the necessary resources to enable them a fair shot at a good life. And that's assuming they're normal. Your worldview would also populate the country with mentally retarded, developmentally dependent and physically handicapped children. Who will raise these children? You? Have you adopted a retarded child yet? You should. There aren't even enough adoptive parents to take care of the unwanted children we have, much less the hundreds of thousands more that would exist were it not for the woman's right to determine her own reproductive freedom. The next thing would probably be forcing people to adopt the unwanted kids.

    Your stance on this issue is like so many that come from the conservative wing of this country... full of emotion, and more than willing to impose your will on other people's lives. "Abortion is immoral! Kill the people who have abortions!" It's just one step removed from any other emotional, morally based political opinion: "Homosexuality is wrong! Kill all the gays!" Or, "Illegal immigrants should die!" Or, "Round up the Muslims and the Jews and all who don't believe in Jesus, and kill them!"

    Of course, that sounds extreme. But it's really not. It happens all over the world. It could happen here. And the first step is intolerance. Intolerance of another's behavior because you perceive it as immoral. When fed, when nourished with hateful speech, intolerance grows into frenzy, and pretty soon, it's 1940 in Germany, and Jews are being rounded up and put into camps. Or it's modern-day Iran, and women are treated like property with no access to justice, birth control, or even their own personal freedom of expression. Or it's modern-day Darfur, and immigrants are being killed in a mass genocide. Or it's Laramie, Wyoming just eight years ago, when two men who didn't like fags cracked open Matthew Shepard's skull with a gun and left him to die, tied to a rough-hewn fencepost.

    Imagine that. Imagine that world. Imagine that America. God forbid. Imagine that America where it could happen, and did. Imagine an America where a twelve-year-old victim of a father's cruel incest is forced to carry a child to term-- a child who likely will wind up abused by the same man. Imagine an America where a beautiful, vibrant, straight-A college student hemorrhages in her sorority house and dies because of a botched illegal back-alley abortion. Imagine her mother. That's the world you say you want. A world without choice. Now really think about it.

    It is a shame that some women use abortion as birth control. It is a shame that women feel they can be promiscuous and not use protection because "I can always get abortion" is running in the back of their minds. It is a shame that some women-- and men-- can be so irresponsible and callous about the sanctity of life. But their abortion really doesn't affect you, except enough for you to say, "Isn't it a shame." It doesn't impact your life. That's what choice is all about. That's what America is all about. You live in a world where you have the right to make the bad choice. And that is, despite how heinous the outcome might be to others, a precious, precious gift that many in this world don't have.

    We hope you can see our point. We hope you can respect our opinion. We do respect yours. We just shudder to think... the death of all that makes America great starts with opinions of intolerance.


    Okay, so it was heavy. Sorry. See you soon at the Lip! And go vote!



    Sunday, November 05, 2006

    You Can Stop This

    America is currently in the middle of a much-commented "War on Terror."

    But terror, in its truest forms, will not be made a docile object of war. In fact, terror is winning, no matter if more of "them" have died than "us." Terror is easily the favorite for victory in this conflict, and will continue to be if we don't stem the tide against the very important advances it has made. These advances came not through the organized efforts of terrorist groups like Al-Qaeda and Hezbollah, but by the fear, arrogance, disinterest and self-righteousness of the American people, and the corruption, manipulation and abject idiocy of the leadership they have put into place.

    Terror wins when Americans are forced to give up their civil liberties and the freedoms on which this country was founded in the name of government control. Habeas corpus is suspended. The rock-solid Constitution that protects our liberty and freedom is now a pliable, bending document.

    This is a very dark time in America. Just ten days after the 9/11/2001 attacks, Amnesty International sent a letter to President Bush asking him to exercise "principled leadership" in the wake of that national tragedy. Their plea fell on deaf ears. The organization has determined that in the last five years, the United States government has engaged in major human rights violations, including secret, arbitrary, and prolonged incommunicado detention; enforced disappearance; denial and restriction of habeas corpus; indefinite detention without charge or trial; humiliating outrages upon personal dignity and unfair trial procedures, and torture.

    It starts in Abu Ghraib. It may soon come to a neighborhood near you. The Military Commissions Act of 2006 turns bad policy into worse law, and makes it possible for the President, or any of his agents to have anyone-- including citizens of the United States-- declared "enemy combattants" and subject to the same treatments. So don't be surprised when they come to round up you or someone you love. We let it happen.

    A madman is in control of the Department of Defense. A fascist sits as our Attorney General, and the President of the United States is a dim-witted bully.

    Americans elected this team of bigoted, self-serving hypocrites to lead our nation, and now it is reaping the whirlwind. Even as our men and women in the military are dying by the scores in an unjust war, we have politicians campaigning on a platform of "Staying The Course" in Iraq. Our president thinks bandying about the notions of going to war with Iran, or Syria, or North Korea as old-boy, back-slapping fun in the Oval Office. I would say firmly to the President: "This is not a game, Mr. Bush. This is not Risk. This is human lives being lost in the vainglorious name of your legacy. This is hysteria that has cost the lives of thousands for your edification. This is the destruction of a country's very core values while you and your cronies ironically moralize and preach about the sanctity of those values. You, Mr. Bush, should feel the deepest shame for what you have done, and I will never forgive you, or your agents, for the irreparable harm you have done to America. I, for one, will neither forgive nor forget."

    This administration is made up of the most intolerant, shortsighted and hateful people ever to be at the helm of an American government. Ronald Reagan's "shining city on a hill" is now a decrepit slum and the bane of the world neighborhood. And my friends, we have no one to blame but ourselves.

    In November of 2000, improprieties in elections in Florida and other states awarded George W. Bush the White House. Since his installation as our leader, he has preached hatred against gays and lesbians. He has ignored the very real health care crisis in this country. He has involved us in an unjustified war by means of deceit and manipulation. He has frighteningly bungled a great natural disaster in the wakes of Hurricanes Katrina, Rita and Wilma. He has moved the United States economy from a record surplus to a staggering deficit with no end in sight. He has increased the scale and scope of government in our lives. He has driven political wedges between Americans while smiling and claiming to be a "uniter, not a divider." He is the worst kind of hypocrite, and we are paying the price for our disinterest and fear, literally, with human blood in Iraq, and human spirit back at home.

    This Tuesday, November 7th, you can send a clear message to Washington: "We value the America we once knew, and we are not going to allow the Bush Administration to defile it any further." In the name of all that truly is sacred about America, we must vote in an opposition Congress. The Democrats have an opportunity to gain control the House and Senate, and thwart the Administration's efforts to wreak havoc on our nation's fundamental principles. We must, in the name of all that is good and decent in this world, allow them that chance.

    The greatest terror, and the ultimate price America will pay, will be the destruction of what it is that made it great in the first place. Stop it. Vote Tuesday.

    Monday, October 23, 2006

    After Pat's Birthday

    I didn't write this. But it really spoke to me. I don't get political on non-queer issues in this blog much, but this is a really powerful read. So I'm sending on to anyone who will look at it. Read it.

    After Pat's Birthday

    Editor’s note: Kevin Tillman (right) joined the Army with his brother Pat (left) in 2002, and they served together in Iraq and Afghanistan. Pat was killed in Afghanistan on April 22, 2004. Kevin, who was discharged in 2005, has written a powerful, must-read document.

    It is Pat’s birthday on November 6, and elections are the day after. It gets me thinking about a conversation I had with Pat before we joined the military. He spoke about the risks with signing the papers. How once we committed, we were at the mercy of the American leadership and the American people. How we could be thrown in a direction not of our volition. How fighting as a soldier would leave us without a voice… until we got out.

    Much has happened since we handed over our voice:

    Somehow we were sent to invade a nation because it was a direct threat to the American people, or to the world, or harbored terrorists, or was involved in the September 11 attacks, or received weapons-grade uranium from Niger, or had mobile weapons labs, or WMD, or had a need to be liberated, or we needed to establish a democracy, or stop an insurgency, or stop a civil war we created that can’t be called a civil war even though it is. Something like that.

    Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.

    Somehow our elected leaders were subverting international law and humanity by setting up secret prisons around the world, secretly kidnapping people, secretly holding them indefinitely, secretly not charging them with anything, secretly torturing them. Somehow that overt policy of torture became the fault of a few “bad apples” in the military.

    Somehow back at home, support for the soldiers meant having a five-year-old kindergartener scribble a picture with crayons and send it overseas, or slapping stickers on cars, or lobbying Congress for an extra pad in a helmet. It’s interesting that a soldier on his third or fourth tour should care about a drawing from a five-year-old; or a faded sticker on a car as his friends die around him; or an extra pad in a helmet, as if it will protect him when an IED throws his vehicle 50 feet into the air as his body comes apart and his skin melts to the seat.

    Somehow the more soldiers that die, the more legitimate the illegal invasion becomes.

    Somehow American leadership, whose only credit is lying to its people and illegally invading a nation, has been allowed to steal the courage, virtue and honor of its soldiers on the ground.

    Somehow those afraid to fight an illegal invasion decades ago are allowed to send soldiers to die for an illegal invasion they started.

    Somehow faking character, virtue and strength is tolerated.

    Somehow profiting from tragedy and horror is tolerated.

    Somehow the death of tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people is tolerated.

    Somehow subversion of the Bill of Rights and The Constitution is tolerated.

    Somehow suspension of Habeas Corpus is supposed to keep this country safe.

    Somehow torture is tolerated.

    Somehow lying is tolerated.

    Somehow reason is being discarded for faith, dogma, and nonsense.

    Somehow American leadership managed to create a more dangerous world.

    Somehow a narrative is more important than reality.

    Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.

    Somehow the most reasonable, trusted and respected country in the world has become one of the most irrational, belligerent, feared, and distrusted countries in the world.

    Somehow being politically informed, diligent, and skeptical has been replaced by apathy through active ignorance.

    Somehow the same incompetent, narcissistic, virtueless, vacuous, malicious criminals are still in charge of this country.

    Somehow this is tolerated.

    Somehow nobody is accountable for this.

    In a democracy, the policy of the leaders is the policy of the people. So don’t be shocked when our grandkids bury much of this generation as traitors to the nation, to the world and to humanity. Most likely, they will come to know that “somehow” was nurtured by fear, insecurity and indifference, leaving the country vulnerable to unchecked, unchallenged parasites.

    Luckily this country is still a democracy. People still have a voice. People still can take action. It can start after Pat’s birthday.

    (from http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/200601019_after_pats_birthday/)