Truth... It Isn't Just For Breakfast Anymore
I'm feeling philosophical. I've been thinking a lot about truth, and the great truths in our lives. Here are some things I have discovered about what people say to others, and what it really means.
1. "You are a beautiful person" or "You're beautiful on the inside" is a disguised insult. You'd only say it to a person who's ugly on the outside.
2. "At least you tried" or "Did you have fun? That's all that counts" means "Yes, your karaoke song sucked ass."
3. "I love you" means absolutely nothing if you say it to someone whom you have spent a grand total of less than an hour with.
4. Anyone who makes a statement about how much they hate drama.... creates drama on a regular basis.
5. Dogging out another person for being a gossip is the most hypocritical thing you can say.
6. Anyone who says, "I don't mean to interrupt," is lying.
7. "What is that supposed to mean?" is only asked by people who know exactly what that's supposed to mean.
8. If a person doesn't love you enough to say, "Stop being an ass," they're not worth having in your life.
9. If someone tells you you're being an ass.... you're probably being an ass.
10. The person asking, "Can I be brutally honest?" actually only wants to be brutal.
11. "Size doesn't matter" is only said by guys who feel inadequate about their manhood.
12. Anyone offended by the notion that they are "high maintenance" is... VERY high maintenance.
13. Any lesbian, if asked about the lesbian tendency to get all emotionally attached and fall in love and get too close too quick, and then not be able to let go once it's over... will tell you she's "not like all those other lesbians." But I guaran-damn-tee you she is.
14. Anyone who professes to be your friend will not ask you to help them move. You can offer if you want, but if they ask, they just love you for your muscle and/or your truck.
15. Any man, gay or straight, who says, "I'm not like other guys," is delusional.
16. If someone says, "I'm a Republican, but I hate Bush," it doesn't matter. A dollar to a dime says they voted for him-- twice. So you can still rag on them.
17. "It isn't you, it's me" means... it's you.
18. "We have a problem" means... "I have a problem with you."
Too much covering up, double-talk and spin in this world. Fess up. Don't sugar-coat the truth. Say what you mean. And mean what you say.
I wish you well! And I mean that! See ya at the Lip!
Tom
1. "You are a beautiful person" or "You're beautiful on the inside" is a disguised insult. You'd only say it to a person who's ugly on the outside.
2. "At least you tried" or "Did you have fun? That's all that counts" means "Yes, your karaoke song sucked ass."
3. "I love you" means absolutely nothing if you say it to someone whom you have spent a grand total of less than an hour with.
4. Anyone who makes a statement about how much they hate drama.... creates drama on a regular basis.
5. Dogging out another person for being a gossip is the most hypocritical thing you can say.
6. Anyone who says, "I don't mean to interrupt," is lying.
7. "What is that supposed to mean?" is only asked by people who know exactly what that's supposed to mean.
8. If a person doesn't love you enough to say, "Stop being an ass," they're not worth having in your life.
9. If someone tells you you're being an ass.... you're probably being an ass.
10. The person asking, "Can I be brutally honest?" actually only wants to be brutal.
11. "Size doesn't matter" is only said by guys who feel inadequate about their manhood.
12. Anyone offended by the notion that they are "high maintenance" is... VERY high maintenance.
13. Any lesbian, if asked about the lesbian tendency to get all emotionally attached and fall in love and get too close too quick, and then not be able to let go once it's over... will tell you she's "not like all those other lesbians." But I guaran-damn-tee you she is.
14. Anyone who professes to be your friend will not ask you to help them move. You can offer if you want, but if they ask, they just love you for your muscle and/or your truck.
15. Any man, gay or straight, who says, "I'm not like other guys," is delusional.
16. If someone says, "I'm a Republican, but I hate Bush," it doesn't matter. A dollar to a dime says they voted for him-- twice. So you can still rag on them.
17. "It isn't you, it's me" means... it's you.
18. "We have a problem" means... "I have a problem with you."
Too much covering up, double-talk and spin in this world. Fess up. Don't sugar-coat the truth. Say what you mean. And mean what you say.
I wish you well! And I mean that! See ya at the Lip!
Tom
posted by Thomas Horton at 11:04 AM
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